Small Steps To Overcoming Fear.
So here we are relaxing in our family holidays, and the time comes when we want to start some family activities. A boat trip was my idea and the type of trip where we decide where and when to go. Yes, I wanted to captain my own boat and, no, I had never done it before so this had interesting written all over it!!
I went to see a great guy called Spiros at the boat rental place. He showed me a good range of boats available for the family and our trip. I definitely did not want something too big and I didn’t want something too small so we made the decision for an 80hp boat, with some great family comforts for us to relax.
At this point I have to say our son, was not keen on the idea, he was not looking forward to this boat trip. He has always been wary of the ocean and its depth, because of the unknown. The thought of taking a boat out into the deep sea was a huge NO NO and the fear was setting in.
Sensing the Danger
Fear is a barrier that your brain creates because it can sense danger, and wants you to keep the feeling of comfort. This was the first time on a boat my son’s brain was sensing some form of danger, wanting him to stay on the shore as this was his comfort.
Start where you are and use what you know to help, over come the fear. He had me and his mum who wanted to move out of the comfort zone. Even I was feeling a little fear as I knew I had never captained a boat before, so I used this to help comfort my son, that I too was feeling fear, and it was just a feeling and a feeling that would go away…
Myself and my lovely wife convinced him to trust us, to try it and see how he felt. This was the first step for my son overcoming one of his fears. He had support and trust in me and his mum. These are two vital ingredients needed for the first step of dealing with fear in my opinion.
Setting Sail, Raise The Fear Anchor!
As we set sail for our first destination I knew the entire family was nervous about the trip. My son and his fear of the deep ocean. My fear of knowing I had never driven a boat, and only had a small crash course ten mins ago. My wife knowing we were both nervous, made her nervous. Yet here we go… off into the ocean all for the first time on our boat, all being captains and navigators. We all made sure we kept reassuring each other and taking each small wave as they came one wave at a time. I made sure we didn’t go too far out and used the shore line to guide us.
With every wave and with every positive word our confidence grew and grew.
As the journey carried on my son had surpassed all his uncertainties, and was now a different person. My wife was calmer now knowing our son felt better, and I was more confident at driving the boat. I had become a captain of our family boat. I was now able to show our son, how to drive the boat, his confidence was amazing. He would help drop the anchor, when we stopped off, and bring the boat to shore.
I couldn’t help but look and reflect on his journey and my own journey with the day, to take any lessons from. Some of these lessons, I know, will stay with me and Brad for life, knowing I can apply in many other situations, both personal and business.
Reflection – Lessons Learnt
- You need to have great people around you that you trust if you are to deal with overcoming fear, or anxieties.
- Take control and don’t let fear take over. Acknowledge it’s there but don’t let it take over, you’re the driver!!! Remember fear is a thought of potential danger in some cases when you are doing something for the first time.
- Be positive with each other and take small steps towards the goal
- Praise the success no matter how small or big the win is, a win is a win….
- Keep pushing yourself to push up your limits, and learn from things that didn’t go well or made you not feel good – losses are not losses they in fact Lessons, valuable lessons to help extend your minds comfort zone, and get you closer to your goal, with confidence.
These are some of my lessons to overcoming fear, helping you to become the captain of your boat, your life, take control.